Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. And sometimes I ramble.

Let's just put this out there: I suffer from social anxiety.  Meeting new people is actually really hard for me.  When I was younger it was so much easier for me.  Unlike most teenagers, I found it really easy to be outgoing and make friends.  Now that I am an adult... not so much. I am not sure what it was that changed that.  But the fear of rejection is so much stronger now that I am an adult (if you want to call it that).  Thank God I am not single, because the thought of going on a true first date make me break out in a cold sweat.

Because of this anxiety, I have a hard time making new friends.  As soon as I typed that I laughed a little because I do have new friends, they are just not the kind of friends I would expect to have.  Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for those friendships, it's just not what I pictured.  All of the new friends I make now are through Dean, or friends I already have.  This means that I end up playing nerdy games, or talking about child rearing.  I feel like I lack friends who are in the same stage of life as me.  And that makes me feel lonely.

It's funny how this post turned out.  I was scrolling through some of my old Facebook posts from when I was sick after my wedding.  So many people commented on my wedding photos leaving their congratulations and well wishes.  Then there were hundreds of people telling me they were praying for me when I was ill, and following my recovery process.  The fact that so many people cared was what started the though process of this post.   I didn't expect it to be such a rambling and mishmash of thoughts.

I don't really have a good way to wrap this up.  I am pretty sure this is the most incoherent post I have ever written.  Maybe I should have waited until my thoughts were a little more clear to post this, but I really needed to get it out.  I am sure I am not the only person who has ever felt this way, and I am sure I will not be the last.  Anyway, this is me ending an awkward post now...

Tell me again. Why do I have a pets?

Remember this cute little guy?  Remember how he is actually the most destructive cat I have ever encountered?  Well people, he did it again.  This adorable little fur ball turned my morning into quite the affair. Granted, it wasn't all his fault.  This morning was rough all around, but he surly kicked my "bad morning" into "hellish morning".

Also, every time I see that bathroom window I cringe.  I am SO glad we moved!

For starters, Dean is out of town for a few days, so my routine is all ready thrown off.  When I woke up I realized that the bed smelled like pee, even though it was dry (a mystery I still haven't solved).  And Faust of course did not stay at the foot of the bed like he should have.  So, I didn't even get to enjoy one round with the snooze button before I had to start stripping the bed.

Then I take Faust for his morning walk.  The whole time he refuses to "do his business".  He had successfully completed number 1, and seemed like he was ready to go in.  So, I figured he was done.  Nope.  As soon as I get his leash off  he hides in the bedroom and squats faster than I could stop him and get him back outside.  Really, dude?

And we thought puppy class would help us

Finally, I am able to get in the shower and into my normal get ready routine.  Everything seems fine until I walk into the kitchen to make my coffee. Then I see it. The biggest mess any of my animals have ever made.

This past weekend I was able to get a few bags of cat litter for free (yes, I am awesome at working sales and using coupons).  It was not the brand we normally get, but I can't say no to free.  The litter just came in plastic bags instead of the hard plastic tubs we are used to.  But, we didn't think anything of it.  We just put in on the floor of the pantry like all the other litter.

Well, wimpy decided to claw open the bags and get litter everywhere!  Not only was the litter all over the place, but he used it too! (Hence the lack of photo).  So Basically, the floor of my pantry was used as a giant litter box.  I knew I had to clean it up immediately or it would be ten times worse when I got home.

Somehow I managed to make it to work on time.  Granted, I have no makeup on and my hair isn't even blow dried, but I'm here.  I really do love my animals, but I like them more when they are not destroying my home.  If my morning is any indication of how the rest of my day will go, please just send me home now.  Thanks.

What's in a name?

Last night, after reading a pretty interesting article on Huffington Post, this headline caught my eye:  "Will It Make My Daughter Feel Less Special If She Has A Popular Name?"  

I couldn't help but laugh when I started watching the video. Is it really that much of a concern to parents? Maybe it's because I am not a parent, or because I grew up surrounded by other people with my name... but I never felt like I was loved less!  And the whole bit comparing names to making breakfast?!  What was that?!

I understand that naming your child is a big deal, but I feel like there are so many more important things out there to be worrying about when you are becoming a first time parent.  Like, how to get the smell of spit up out of your hair.  Or how to prevent blow-outs.

I mean, I guess if this is the biggest issue you have, then you are doing pretty good.

I Kissed A Boy and.... Got Mono

Ok, So that's a lie.  I haven't kissed anyone but my husband.  I did however end up with mono.  Hence my two weeks of silence.  And you all thought I was just a loser.  I'm not really sure how I ended up with mono, I don't remember coming in contact with anyone that has had it, but here I am.  Two weeks later with just enough strength to write a post.  After being as sick as I was last year, I am ready to be healthy now.

I was venting my frustrations with being sick for a year to my best friend, Crystal. She always reminds me that there is a positive side to everything, all you have to do is look for it.  When we were in high school, she kept a journal for a full year of the new thing that she learned each day.  So, in honor of Crystal, I thought about the things I learned while I was sick... it's not much, but I guess it's still positive...right?

ONE.  We discovered a puppy play group not far from our house.   Last Thursday Faust was driving me nuts so I sucked it up and took him for a walk.  I took a different, shorter, route than I normally do and discovered the goldmine that is puppy time.  I was able to sit my sick butt on a park bench while Faust did laps with all his canine friends.  I was pretty darn pleased with this discovery, and it has become a daily routine.  Easier for me and more exercise for him = happy Katie.

TWO.  Walmart pharmacy delivers!  Hello!  Is this not genius?!? Admittedly I hate Walmart, and usually avoid it at all costs.  However, the pharmacy I normally get my scripts filled, did not have the correct dosage in stock.  So as I was calling around, I found out they will deliver within a 15 mile radius.  I live 14.8 miles away.  Phew!

THREE.  Egg drop soup feels amazing on sore and swollen tonsils.  Since I have been down for the count, Dean has been scrambling to find his own meals.  This means a lot of take out food.  Since I could hardly swallow water at first, I asked for soup.... for four days in a row...

FOUR. Netflix pretty much stinks.  Yes, I said it.  I am seriously thinking of switching to HuLu Plus.  It has more show selections, and I don't have to upgrade to watch more of their  selection.

FIVE.  The internet is boring when you don't blog.  I have nothing to look for or check up on. That's right, I missed you guys!

10 Things you shouldn't know about me but I'm going to tell you, cause they said so.

Today I am going to tell you things you shouldn't know about me.  But really, they have no consequence, so I don't know why you shouldn't know them.  I am human, so I do have faults.  I am okay with people knowing my faults.... most of the time.

1. I don't like  to wear clothes when I am home.  Especially in the summer time.  90% of the time I am walking around my house with no clothes on.  All my friends know to give me at least a five min warning before they come over. 

2.  I snore worse than my husband.  There have been a few times that he has woken me up to tell me to stop snoring. I blame it on the fact that I broke my nose a while back. 

3.  I am really bad a finishing things or staying committed to a project.  The fact that I have blogged for 5 days in a row for the blogging challenge is a big deal.  

4.  My car is always dirty.  You can always find an old lunch box (I clean them at work - I am not that gross!), an empty Dunkin Donuts cup, or a spare pair of shoes in my car.  It's kinda bad.

5.  I am so not a morning person.  We still leave puppy pads down for the dog because I sometimes sleep though him asking to go out in the morning... good thing we have a dog and not a baby...

6.  If I go out with you on a Friday or Saturday night and say "I won't have that many"... I will have too many.  That's usually why I stay in, it's just better for everyone that way.

7.  I will judge you based on the type of toilet paper you have in your home.  if it is the super cheap scratchy kind, I will probably not come over that often, or start to bring my own.

8.  I have a few stamps in my passport, but I still feel completely uncultured.  When I complain about those things I feel like i am being a snob. 

9.  When I am bored with my job, I don't work as hard as I should.  I have found that to be the case a lot with my new position. 

10.  Admitting all my human qualities is really doing a number on my self esteem... geesh, maybe I should have said things like " I dance in my car" or "I sing in the shower".  I feel like those are more acceptable "faults"

My Summer Love

You know what I love about Summer?  Going to festivals and fairs.  You know what the best thing about living in Rochester is?  There is always a festival to go in the summer time.  If you google "Rochester ny festivals" you will get a list a mile long.  I couldn't be happier.  There is always a little one you can find if you are willing to drive to a suburb.  My favorite ones are the ones with good craft booths, and free music

Jess Fest

Lilac Fest

Park Ave Fest

Corn Hill Art Fest

The Worst Advice I Ever Received or The Most Serious Post Yet

So, I wrote this yesterday to post for today's blogging challenge with the North East Blogger's Network.  It turned out to be a little more serious than I expected, and I almost deleted it to write something more lighthearted.  But then I decided to keep it up.  Sharing this little tid-bit of my life is not an easy thing to do, I am embarrassed that I let this happen to me.  I decided to go with it because while it is one of my biggest mistakes, ending it was one of my biggest accomplishments.  I started blogging because I liked the idea of meeting new people and encouraging one another.  How can I expect real friends to come from this if I am not real when I write?  That's why I decided to share this story.

Once upon a time I was in an absolutely terrible relationship.  Looking back, I should have known better and I can say that it was abusive.  He didn't abuse my physically, but he was extremely manipulative and made me feel like I was the worse girlfriend in the world for various reasons.  He made me do everything for him from getting up at 4 am to pick him up and bring him to work (because this awesome guy didn't have a car), to bringing him McDonald's and a pack of cigarettes because he was broke and stressed.   I knew that I shouldn't have been with him.  I knew he was bad news.  I knew that the relationship would go no where if I had to keep it a secret from the majority of my close friends.  He ended his relationship with his fiancee to be with me, but then left me (on Valentine's day) to be with my "best friend" (that was living with me for free because she broke up with her physically abusive boyfriend).  Before we got back together, the two of them expected me to be more than okay with the situation.  If I expressed that I was feeling  any type of negative feeling, it was some how my fault and I was in the wrong for not supporting them in there relationship.   I would post a picture of the three of us, but I deleted or burned all but one that I sent into PostSecret.

Normally I pride myself on being a very level headed and making very logical thought out choices.  So why did I chose to be with this loser?  Well first of all I was emotionally vulnerable and lost at that point in my life. But also because two people told me I would be happy.  It was by far the worst advice I have ever received.

Right around this time I had developed a little bit of a crush on Dean (Dean had the same feelings for me, but he didn't tell me).  I was frustrated with the stale mate that our relationship was in and I expressed that frustration to these people.  They told me that if Dean wasn't going to step up to the plate, then he wasn't worth waiting for.  I should be with the person who really wanted to be with me.  The guy that was willing to call off his wedding for me.  So that's what I did.  besides, Dean was moving to the other side of the world without me.  So obviously he didn't care about me, right?  They were so wrong.

While Dean was still gone I had the courage to end things.  It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done in my life.  Of course I was accused of being ungrateful and selfish.  He told me that I would never find another person to love me like he did and I was making a huge mistake.  I think he was more upset with losing his daily ride than he was with losing me.

He was right about one thing though, I never did find anyone who "loved" me like he did again.  And for that, I am forever grateful.

I need a genie in a bottle (baby)

Today is the second day of August, which means that summer is coming to an end, and I am quickly running out of time to get things done that I said I would.  It also means that it is day two of the North East Blogger's Network August blogging challenge.  Today's mission: tell you what I would do with three wishes.  Surprisingly, this was hard for me.  I tend to be a more logical person (most of the time), so I was trying to come up with wishes that were actually feasible.  Then I realized that the idea of "feasible wishes" was a huge oxymoron and I should just go with it and have fun. That's when I came up with these:

1. The ability to teletransport.

Seriously, how cool would that be?   I happen to have family and friends all over the world.  I would LOVE to go see them, but sometimes plane tickets cost more than my rent and it's just not possible.

2. The ability to reverse calories.

That's right, eating an entire cheesecake in one sitting would actually make yo loose weight.  Let's face it. I am too lazy to work out.  This would be so much easier. (Truthfully, I am just too sick to work out, but that's a different post entirely)

3. The ability to know the winning lottery numbers in advance.

Because duh!  Who wouldn't want to win an extra million or two once a week?  It would make my need for wish #1 disappear. 

So, What would you do with your genie in a bottle?

Elloh!... I said Ello.

Can I just say that I am thrilled that there is a blogging challenge starting today?  I have been so conflicted over blogging lately.  I really want to blog more often, but at the same time I feel like I have nothing good to write about.  The North East Blogger's Network August challenge came just it time!  Today's topic is simple.  All I have to do is introduce my self.  So here it goes:

My name is Kathleen Michelle, but please call me Katie! Yeah, don't call me Kate if you want me to be your friend.  I am a less than typical 26 year old girl who appreciates all the simple things in life. I am pretty straight forward, and I have been told that I am a "go -getter" (whatever that means).

In writing, my life looks pretty plain. I dropped out of college before getting a degree.  I attended Bible College for three semesters before calling it quits. My husband and I planned our small private wedding in about 2 weeks and no one calls me "momma".  I like to think that I am crafty, but I am really just good at hording craft supplies.  So if you came here looking for "pinspiration" than you came to the wrong blog.

I share my home with my geeky husband,  my hyper puppy, and two cats.  I guess you could say that I like fuzzy things.

I started this blog back in 2010 as a way to document my 101 in 1001.  That ended up being overwhelming and I didn't keep up with it like I should have.  I still loved writing and my husband encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone to make new friends.  This blog keeps me encouraged and inspired! And more importantly than all that, I have found amazing friends. I have people who genuinely care about me, who encourage me, and who are there for me! That's what makes this experience so awesome!
If you would like to know even more about me, check out these posts and stick around a while: 250 Words Story of my life in 10 questions 15 facts about me