Story of My Life in 10 Simple Questions

I have seen these ten questions on a few of my favorite blogs lately.  Honestly, they have been a few of my favorite posts of the week, so I decided to answer them myself. That and I have had a really rough week. So, I have zero creativity for a post.  Besides, it's always fun to get to know people better, and this is an easy way to do it.

1. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
The first thing that comes to mind is going to Bible school.  I often complain that it was a waste of time and money.  No to mention the size of the slap in the face reality gave me when I finally left the "christian bubble" and stepped into the real world.  However, a lot of good came from it too.  Heck, I wouldn't have met Dean if I never went to Bible school.  I like to sum it up this way "It was the best mistake I ever made".

Friendly Elim card game, I was fat and had short hair.

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
If I am not  a mommy in five years then there is something medically wrong with me.  Dean and I have talked about it; in five years we should be on kid number 2.  I would also like to be a homeowner.  Basically, I just want to be happy.  I believe happiness is a choice, it's not really based on your circumstances unless you let be.

Me and Lisa, one of the girlies I used to nanny

3. Do you honestly want kids?
Umm... See above.  Yes I do!  It is honestly the biggest desire of my heart to have children.  Complete strangers have walked up to me and told me I have a mother's heart.  After the initial weirdness wears off, I have perma-grin for at least 24 hours. 


4. What has been the best moment of your life so far?
This is a tough one!  I have had a lot of really wonderful things happen on my life.  The one moment that stands out more than any other, is when I finally stood up for myself and ended an abusive relationship I was in.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but so rewarding.  I have never felt more peace in my life.  That and my wedding day of course. 

So glad we winged it!

5. What is your life theme song?
Sara Groves.  Less Like Scars.  Yeah I know, it's not some fun hip singer and half of you may have never heard of her, but this song is basically the story of my life.

6. What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to do before you die?
Is it cheating if I tie in numbers two and three with this answer?  If it is, then call me a cheater.   Don't get me wrong, I know there are other things in life that are important as well, but I don't anything will be as rewarding (and challenging) as motherhood.

7. If you could do anything you wanted right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be?
Quit my job, buy a house and fill it with brand new furniture. Wow, that's such an "adult" answer.  If I could do all of that without any finical repercussions I would in a heart beat.  I would love to be a house wife, man I should have been born in the 40's.

8. If you could choose one thing to be known for, what would it be?
Compassion.  And I think maybe I am there?  I want to be able love the unlovable and for being helping people feel good about them selves, and happy that they are alive.  Cheesy?  Maybe, but it still gives me warm fuzzies.   Just call me Ducky (Pretty in Pink any one?).


9. What has been the most challenging moment in your life?
I think this one has to tie into number 4.  I used to be an extreme people pleaser.  If my actions made some one else happy I would do it, even if it was self damaging.  This lead to having my heart walked all over numerous times.  I was used, disregarded, and blamed for everything that was wrong in this persons life.   When I finally stood up for myself and told him to get out of my life, I was scared silly.  But I am so glad I did.    Some times I look back on the time in my life with regret.  I get ashamed when I see how I let him treat me so poorly, Then there are other times I look back and think "I'm so glad I did the hard thing by standing up for myself."  I don't even want to know where I would be if I didn't.
ooff.... okay, let's move on from this heavy subject.


10. Summarize yourself in one word.
This was by far the most challenging question.  I know how I would have answered in high school, or 3 years ago, but now... not so much.  Maybe... maybe, the proper word would be changing.  That seems accurate for me right about now.  That is accurate for anyone at any time in life.  I like it, there is always room for improvement this way.  

And there you are, even more things to know about me.  If you want to know more, all you have to do it ask!

That post I promised yesterday

First things first, let me tell you about my first run.  It was easy.  Yup, easy.  I was expecting to be crawling back up my apartment stairs dying and laying in a fetal position the rest of the evening.  But instead it was over and I said "wait, really?".  It felt good, and I am glad I took the doctor's advice to do an 18 min mile (even though yesterdays time was 16 min).  If I was feeling as bad as I expected to I don't think I would have the will power to go back out there.  I do feel a tad sore today, so I know I really did get a work out in.  I am actually looking forward to Wednesday's run.  So, go me!

Now onto today's main topic:  my 30 by 30 list.  When I first opened an account with Blogger it was about 3 years ago because I decided to do a 101 in 1001 list.  Well, that was rather ambitious of me.  I think I did 5 things before I gave up.  The problem was that I made completely unreachable goals, so I got discouraged.

Yesterday I told you how I started feeling older.  I decided to make this 30 by 30 list because I wanted to prove to myself that just because I am reaching real adulthood (I feel like your 20's don't count, they are just practice years) doesn't mean that I can't still do things and have fun doing them.  So, without further a due  here is my list:

30 By 30

1. Get paid for a photo shoot

2. Complete a 10K

3. Become a mother (at least once)

4. Adopt a dog

5. Watch a sunrise and sunset on the same day

6. Watch 10 of AFI's top 100 films

7. Take more photos and start making an annual Family Yearbook

8. Loose 50 pounds and maintain it (making adjustment for number 3, of course)

9. Read 5 books from Penguin's "you must read before you die" list

10. Take a real vacation with Dean (one that gives me a sunburn)

11. Plant fresh herbs for my kitchen and use them

12. Visit Amy in Boston

13. Find a game that Dean and I both enjoy that we can play regularly

14. Visit Meg in Chicago

15. Re-start and maintain my everyday thankfulness journal

16. Go on a road trip with Crystal

17. Own a complete outfit from Mod Cloth

18. Own a Kitchenaid mixer

19. Host a dinner party for my friends/family

20. Own a bicycle

21. Leave a 100% tip for an awesome server

22. Hug my dad

23. Hang family photos in my home

24. Go camping with Dean and friends

25. Re-fashion a thrift store find

26. Meet a blogger friend in real life

27. Roast my own coffee

28. Get that tattoo I have been wanting

29. Frame and hang some of my photography

30. Make a 40 by 40 list

I originally thought that it would be a great idea to tell you why I added each thing to my list, but that is a lot of typing and would make one CRAZY long post.  Both sound like something that would frustrate me, so I am not going to do that.  If you really want to know all you have to do is ask and I will give you the details.  Cause I am cool like that.  

That time I realized I was old(er)

Okay, so the AARP is not exactly knocking down my door (although they keep sending Dean stuff about car insurance?), and I am pretty far from being able to get a senior citizen's discount on my coffee, so I don't think I can say I am "old" just yet. However, there have been a few things that have made me realize that I am indeed getting older.  Because I am Katie and I love to make lists, here is a list of things that have made me feel old lately:

 One. When I first heard the term "snapchat" in conversation, I had to Google it. 

source

 Two. A five year old asked me if I played internet games when I was little.... and the answer was no.

  Three. I shouted "SuperStar" (in a very Molly Shannon fashion) around a college freshman and they didn't get it.

Source

Four. The guy on the grocery store called me "Ma'am" not "miss"

Five. I spent about 4 hours cleaning my house with Dean yesterday.  At the end of the day I thought to myself  "that was a really good weekend"... and we didn't even drink while cleaning.

Because I realized that I am really closer to 30 than I am 20. I decided to make a "30 by 30 list".  I will go over the details with you tomorrow, but if you are impatient (like me) then you can just click on the new tab at the top of my page.  

If I grow old, I'll never grow up

When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies...

I am certain I am not the only one starting their post with this

Now that I got that song stuck in your head (your welcome), let's move on to today's topic.  What do you wanna be when you grow up?  If you asked me this 25 years ago I would have quickly answered with "a ballerina doctor!".  My reasons were simple: ballerinas got to wear pretty clothes and doctors made a lot of money.  My two year old dreams seemed realistic enough....until I was about 7.  

So, when Whitney and Helen announced their "When I grow up" link-up, I knew "Ballerina Doctor" would not be a sufficient answer.  But, that's okay.  I know exactly what I wanna be when I grow up (whenever that may be).  I want to be a mommy. 

That way I never actually have to give up any of the fun stuff.  Ya know, like swinging on the swings, eating popsicles on a hot summer day, playing outside until the last flicker of sunlight is left.  All that fun stuff.  Because the truth is, I don't really want to grow up.

Source

Don't get me wrong.  I understand that motherhood will not always be pretty, in fact often times it will be down right ugly.  Poopy diapers, tantrums, endless messes.  I get that.  But I still believe that motherhood is one of the most rewarding "careers" there is out there, even if it is the  most challenging.  

Source

We Can Do it!

Doing it Anyway

Last week I wrote a post about how I plan to become a runner.  I was overwhelmed with the amount of support I received from my friends and other random bloggers I had never heard of before.  But, as the week went on, and the new excitement wore off, I lost my motivation. Let's face it, I am lazy.  I started to believe that unless there is a 75% sale at the outlet mall, I would not be running. I was so mad at my self for losing motivation before I even started.  I kept thinking my health was the perfect excuse to slack off and not do it, claiming my lungs would hold me back.

I had an appointment with my doctor yesterday for my six month follow up.  He mentioned my plans for running and I quickly replied with (a hopeful), "but if you think that is stupid just tell me and I won't do it".  He laughed and said it would be more stupid to not do it.  So, that was that; I am going to start running.

I left the office building feeling incredibly intimidated about the goals I had made for myself, and thinking I would fail before I even started.  I got in my car to head home and that's when I heard about Boston.  If I was looking for another excuse to not run, that would be it.

By the time that I got home and turned on the news the initial shock had worn off.  But, instead of feeling relief that I finally had an excuse.  I was actually just plain mad.   I was mad that my good friend had to go though such a nerve wracking day (Amy works in the Prudential Center building.  The finish line was right about in front of it).  I was mad that one person would chose to rob hundreds of athletes' accomplishments. Mad at myself for even considering using such a tragic event as an excuse to not better my self.

I spent the rest of the night doing anything I could to motivate myself.  Looking at blogs, downloading Jeff Galloway's app, and window shopping for new running shoes.    I'm starting at an 18 min mile.  I am not really sure if it can get much easier than that.  It may be a challenge, but I am doing it anyway.

Yes, I threw tortillas at my cat.

I am a cat owner.  I would prefer to be a dog owner, but considering that my crappy tiny apartment is less than 400 sq. ft., I am forced to be a cat owner.  We have two of them.  I intended to only have one, but Pip really needed a companion, so we ended up getting Wimpy. 

For the record, Dean named Wimpy.  I would have chosen a less insulting name. 

Pip is the back one on the bottom.  Wimpy is on top

Getting Wimpy ended up being a good idea... for Pip.  Pip became less destructive and calmed right down after getting a playmate.  However, Dean and I are not the biggest fan of our second fur baby as of late.

Don't let his cute face fool you!

In Rochester, we have access to a low cost spay and neuter program called SNIP.   We used SNIP for Pip and ended up only paying around $40 for his neuter and vaccines and a flea treatment.  We had every intention of doing that with Wimpy as well, but we just kept forgetting to send in the paper work.  That kinda fell low on the list of priorities   Ya know, under wedding planning, getting Dean moved in, and hospital bills.  

When we finally did remember to send in the paper work it was too late, my little kitten boy grew up. He now sprays.  Most of the time it is under control.  We have an appointment for him coming up, but in the mean time we have to keep an eye on him.

Tuesday, we did not keep a close enough eye on him.  I was making quesadillas  for dinner and I noticed him scratching on the chair that I had left my jacket and purse on when I came home.  Yup, you guessed it.  he peed on them.  I was SO mad that I threw the package of tortillas that were in my hand.... at him. 

Part of the reason that I was so upset, was because he didn't just pee on any old bag.  No, he peed on my new $120 fossil bag that Dean got me for our first Valentines (and make-up honeymoon gift).  Part of the deal was that I get rid of my three suitcases full of cheap purses (yes, I have a problem). 

I survived yesterday with a small purse that was so stuffed I couldn't close it (I need big bags now because of all the meds I need to carry).  Meanwhile, my amazing husband got my Fossil bag cleaned and moved up Wimpy's vet appointment. 

And that is why  I thew tortillas at my cat.  But we are cool now.  He apologized, and kept me company while I was home sick yesterday.  

Moral of the story:  "Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered."

So What?!

Before I link up with Shannon for So What Wednesday I have to say thank you.  No, really.  I am over whelmed with the number of page views Monday's post received. Let alone all the encouragement ya'll gave me (no I am not from the south, but I still use terms like "ya'll").  The closer I get to the 22 the more excited I get.  Plus, now that every one knows, I can't slack off!  Too many people are rooting for me to not take this seriously.  I am blown away by how supportive all of you have been, with people like you backing me up, I am sure to succeed.

Okay, enough with the feelings stuff.  It's time for "So What Wednesday" With Shannon from Life After I "Dew"



So What if I...

• Stopped at Dunkin Doughnut's for coffee this morning even though I had a cup at home.
• I threw a package of tortillas at my cat last night.  He was asking for it!
• Hate every solo picture of me that is saved on my computer and that is the real reason I haven't made a blog button. 
• Am not a fan of the colored jeans craze.  It just reminds me of ice cream for some reason.
• Hate bananas
• Am wearing the same tank top under my cardigan today that I wore under my blouse yesterday.
• Think Coach and Tory Burch bags are ugly.
• Own three pairs of basic black pumps, I still wear them all.
• Am re-watching all of Dawson's Creek. The 90's were a fun time (some times).
• Don't have a 10th thing to list but feel funny ending on something other than an increment of 5.

I think I can, I think I can...

My Amazing friend Amy came into town this weekend.  Besides eating too much, bashing her ex-boyfriend, and playing games, Amy told me about how she has become a runner.  Here's the catch: Amy has chronic asthma.  Like uses her inhaler at least three times a day asthmatic.  So when she told me she started running. I was intrigued.

Back Story:

About a week before my wedding (October 14, 2012) I was feeling really sick.  I didn't want to go to the doctor's office because I was convinced that it was just a chest cold and there wouldn't be much they could do for me.  It wasn't until I was in excruciating pain with every breath that I agreed to go to Urgent Care.  After two hours, a chest X-ray, and a shot for pain, I was out the door with a stack of expensive medications and a diagnosis of pneumonia.

A week later (two days after I said "I do"), I was feeling even worse and starting to cough up a little blood (sorry if that's gross, but it was true).  So I went back to urgent care.  The doctor took one look at me and sent me to the hospital via ambulance.  They were nice enough to attach our "Just Married" flag, but poor Dean was too busy freaking out about me to take a photo.  At the hospital they did a CT scan and found two large blood clots in my left lung, believed to be caused by birth control.  I stayed in the hospital for about a week and life hasn't really been the same since.

I believe this was day 5.  I hadn't had a shower and I was miserable.

Back to today:

I didn't really understand how severely ill I was and what effect it had on my body until just recently.  I haven't been active at all because my lung is still very fragile, and I haven't been eating very healthy because leafy green veggies don't mix well with my medication.  I have never been a "skinny" girl, but I would never say I was obese either.  Well, the last time I went to my doctor's office I weighed in at 214 pounds.  Ouch.  (pardon me while I let that settle in again).  

That brings me back to this weekend's conversation with Amy.  When she told me she was running and was healthy, I wanted in.  She's lost about 30 pounds since my wedding (6 months ago) and feels great.  She found this blog about a girl who as asthma but runs marathons.  She uses the Galloway method for training, and does really well with it.  

I have done some research (and talked with my doctor and got his OK), and I have decided that if asthmatics can run, so can I.  My goal weight is 165.  If I look at the numbers, it's intimidating.  My end goal in all of this isn't really numbers, it's to feel better about myself. 

I have gone back and forth about weather or not I should post.  What if I can't do it?  Admitting you weigh over 200 pounds is embarrassing!  What if people think this is just another weight-loss blog now? All of those thoughts raced through my mind today, and the only response I can really think of is: So what?!  So what if I do fail, at least I tried.  50 pounds is a lot, but it's not as bad as 100. And so what if people think this is a weight-loss blog now, maybe I can inspire some other people to try something they didn't think they could do.  

I have decided to start my training on April 22.  I picked this day because it is the Monday after the 6 month mark of my illness.  It starts the first full week in 6 months that I will be medication free. And because the weather forecast looks like this:

I will admit, I am a little nervous because I still have some pain in my lungs when I get winded.  But if I never try, I will never know.  So here goes nothing.... I think I will be adding new fancy running shoes to my birthday wish list (hint hint, Dean).

It needs to be the weekend now

I am beyond excited for the weekend.  This is not anything new.  But this time I am pumped for the weekend for reasons other than sleeping in and staying in my Pj's until 3 pm.  This weekend my Amy comes.  Amy, AKA the best (former) roommate in the world!

Amy and I couldn't be more opposite.  She is a nerdy science gal, and I... am  not.  I never set out to actually be Amy's roommate.  Amy wanted to rent the third bedroom, and I wanted to stop living in my car.  It worked out well.   We ended up living together for two years.  There were times we hated each other, and at least one full week where we literally didn't speak to one another. In the end.  They were some of the best two years of my life.

The reason Amy and I worked out so well is because we are both a little kooky.  I would come home from work and she would be sitting in the middle of the living room studying for her biochemistry exam in an old bridesmaid dress and tie-dye fuzzy slippers.  Once we ended up joining a random stranger's bachelorette party.  (man, I wish I had some photo's of that!)

We were known for having Bad Dance parties.

 We had a quote wall in our kitchen.  One of my favorites - Amy: "you know what my biggest fear about my wedding is?"  Me: "that you will have one?"  or  -Amy:  "note to self: do not play with DNA and cook dinner at the same time.  You will burn the chicken" (I told you she was a science nerd)


A few days after my wedding (in October  she moved to Boston.  Sad for me but awesome for her.  She also put together my entire wedding for me when I called her and said "hey Dean and I are getting married next Saturday.  PLEASE tell me you can be there".  She found a place for food, made us a "just married couldn't wait any longer" sign, decorated our corner of the park, and even contained my mother's crazy boyfriend   I love her.   This chick is amazing and I cannot wait to get my drink on  hang out with this lady.  Friday is going to take forever to get through!

Blogland = High School

Can I be totally honest?  Of course I can, I am the one writing.  I have been debating weather or not to post this for a few days because I know that it could offend some people. That and I have only been a "blogger" for about 2 months now, so how could I possibly know what I am talking about.  However,I don't think it's worth biting my tongue for, so I am doing it anyway.    Blogland is like high school.  Except, in high school I didn't have to "buy" my friends.  There I said it.  Hate me if you'd like.  I am a big girl I can handle it.

What I have noticed in my limited time in this exclusive side of the cyber world, is that there are "plastics",cliques, and  trends just like high school.  Michelle wrote an awesome post about it a while ago.  I agree, it's a lot like Mean Girls.

I have thought about throwing in the towel because I didn't want to be a part of something that can be so immature.  Then I realized, that I control my own actions and I am an adult so, I will act like one.  My main purpose for blogging is to meet new friends and feel like I belong to a community.  I believe that is something that I can accomplish and I plan on doing just that.

I know Mr. Beiber says to "Never say Never", but in order to stay true to myself, there are a few things I would like to get out of the way now, while I am still getting started.

Uno.  I will never have sponsors or ask to be sponsored.  If people are going to follow my blog, let it be because they like what I have to say, not because some one told them too.  I just don't feel right about "buying: my friends.

Dos. I will never host a give away that requires you to follow or like a million different bloggers.  For the same reasons that I dislike sponsorship.  It encourages the "buying friends" thing and that is just not cool.

Tres.  I have disabled anonymous users from leaving comments and I have no intention of ever turning it back on.  I love getting comments from my readers (who doesn't?).  What I don't love is Spam, capchcas (or however you spell that), and people trying to hide behind big words.  If you want to leave a negative comment, that's fine.  Every one has their own opinion.  But please don't act all high and might, then runaway and hide.  That's just childish.

Cuatro. I am seriously limiting the number of weekly link-ups I do.  Too many link-ups limit how often I am able to write my own content.  I can (almost) promise you that I will never be doing another "weekend recap" post ever.  I didn't like them as I was writing them, but I participated as a way to possibly earn more followers.  It's just not worth it.  There are other link-ups that can be more relevant (or less, but more fun).

If you do any of this, I am sorry if I offended you. I am not trying to put you down.  I am simply voicing my frustration with blogging.

Also, there is no photo in this post.  Just add that to the list of "blog rules" I am breaking.

That is all.

Social Media. It's a love hate thing.

So, I left my phone at work today.  Because, ya know, that's the cool thing to do.  I actually have a bad habit if misplacing my phone.  As you would expect, I feel slightly lost with out it, but this technology bare night has really made me think about social media.  Mainly, how much I dislike it.  

When I first started college, way back in 2004 (really?! 9 years!?), before the Motorola Razor phone was the hottest thing on the market, I hated cell phones.  Hated them.  I would actually walk away from people in the middle of a conversation if they checked their phone more than listening to me.  I hated texting.  I felt like if you wanted to talk to me you would call me, or make the effort to find me. As my life advanced along with technology, my attitude changed. Eventually I caved and got an iPhone.  The first app I downloaded was Facebook.  Eventually I had them all.  Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Blogger, ect.  

But lately, I have come to resent social media and I have considered deleting my Facebook account.  The internet has just become so... loud.  People screaming about same sex marriage, animal rights, or abortion.  It's like being surrounded by individuals on soap boxes with mega phones and there is no way out.  Don't get me wrong, it's good to be informed, and have an opinion on such things, but I already have my own opinion, your cute little meme won't be what changes my mind. 

Not to mention it affects my life when I am offline.  Since when did going out for coffee with friends consist of getting the wifi password and liking "so-and-so checked you into Starbucks" instead of actually talking to them?  I'll admit, have been guilty of this.  Who hasn't? But please, put value in the relationship you have right in front of you.  Dean and I have come up with a safe word if we think the other person is making their phone their first priority just because of this. 

Also, false information spreads like wildfire!  remember the "deadly spider" on the toilets in Florida?  Or the poisoned soda cans that gave some one listeria?  Or, my personal favorite, the "for every like we will donate $10".  Seriously, when did people become so naive?  Check out snopes, it's not that hard.

All of these things are little annoyances of social media that have irked every one at some point.  This list could be longer.  The people that use hash tags on Facebook, or hash tag every word, the over shares and the "vague bookers", pictures of every meal or outfit, are only a few examples.  But the biggest harm caused by social media I have noticed is comparison. All of a sudden, you find yourself wondering why your life isn't as fun and fabulous as those of your friends. Whenever you check Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, or Instagram, they've uploaded photos of themselves at a party having the time of their lives while you… are still in your pajamas at three in the afternoon on a Saturday (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Anyway, that's my two cents (more like five bucks) on social media.  I have decided to keep my Facebook account for now.  I have friends all over the world right now.  Social Media is good for keeping up with them.